Feelings

Is a new year and in my head I still wondering how longer this will take?
I insist on asking the same but to my heart instead.
I can’t stop thinking about you, but my heart doesn’t have any more feelings for you,
Of that I am sure….  At least that’s what I want to think when I think about you.
When I have nothing to do, my mind opens some type of door where you hide… I hate you because nobody had ever make my eyes so blind … now  I feel like an ant in the sky… lonely in a big sea where I am afraid to fly…
You told me once, you will always be here by my side, I knew it was a lie,
Just didn’t know everything will go that fast.., but its ok, today I miss you but I am fine….
Everthing changed, today I look for your pictures online and what I get is some one else smiling at your side… My eyes want to cry, but what I get is a huge smile, because I can tell you are having a good time.
When I asked you to get some distance and let our friendship behind, I was not only thinking on my desire to health my heart, I swear I was also thinking on your new life and how being “friends” may damage that.
Is not easy to say I love you, but is more difficult to say I did, even more when your memory makes me wonder if I still feeling that or they are just flashbacks that want to cry…
[I said this before] I really want to write about something else, not about some dam love we let in the pass, for some reason I can’t talk about anything else…
My life is much better now; that I know… is my heart the one that refuses deep inside to let you go…
Wish you a happy new year, just hoping the next time we cross each other will be the time my heart is fully recover... 
PS: for some reason my inspiration is base on what used to be “our” life, how ever I can´t get to a happy ending, doesn't matter how many times I say the phrase “fine”…